Parent’s often come to me with problems getting their children to stop a behavior, or help getting them to to simply behave. As many times as I’ve recommended the following program, I should be being paid by Dr. Phehan LOL. But I’m not. Let me say that to begin with. I’m not being paid to endorse this program. I just know I’ve used it myself. I’ve helped parents I work with learn to use it as well.
I believe in this program, 123 Magic is one of the the simplest, and easiest (but not so easy) program to use and can be started at early ages or even later ages. I found out about this program when I was a case manager doing in-home work with families. Basically, it consists of less talk from parents -remember the old Peanuts cartoons with Charlie Brown in the class room? We always heard only “blah blah blah” from the teacher. Well, a lot of times, as parents, we simply talk to much. We give too much information when less is needed. You know the saying…. “less is more”. Your kids tune you out after so long. They can only keep their attention for so long, especially when they feel they are being chastised. Don’t you? Ever have a boss getting onto you for something you did wrong? Sure you listened to him/her, but eventually, in your mind, you start drifting away or maybe even defending yourself in your mind. Either way, you’ve sort of tuned out. Your kids do this too. They are only going to listen so long to scolding.
I used this with my own children as they were growing up. So I know it works. The problem is that parents become to complacent and go back to their old habits. I was often guilty of this. When I was using it correctly my home was less stressed and more peaceful, and there were less arguments. Eventually my eldest (a teenager at the time) would snicker to himself when I started counting…. BUT he was usually walking toward his room, away from whatever the conflict or problem was at that moment. It works. But parents have to be consistent. That’s the key.
Want to know more about it? Here is the Youtube link for a 2 minute clip of the program by Dr. Phelan. You can find the CD or book, or even workbook on Amazon. Oh, and there is an app for the IPhone as well.